Saturday, August 15, 2009

The Big Semester Gamble

I'm sitting here, this beautiful Saturday morning as my husband sleeps noisily in the other room balancing my checkbooks(s). Yes, I have three. Personal, joint and business. And yes, all three are sadly very low. The joys of independent filmmaking. They could certainly be higher if I chose to do certain things ... namely corporate videos, commercials ... but I tried my hand at that and it just made me depressed, anxious and annoyed. And so I sit here this morning, trying to balance, plan, coordinate our finances so that we'll be ok until the UT paycheck kicks in next month. Trying to figure out how to get through the next semester with all of the upcoming bills (car insurance, office rent, holiday plane tickets ...) and not dig into that coveted savings-- too much.

This is not to say that there aren't potential paychecks coming or hopefully on the horizon. It's a tricky place to be right now. On the one hand, things are looking up career-wise. Things are happening, moving, shaking. But it's almost like being on set. It's a hurry up, wait sort of deal. Go, go, go ... and then between waiting for someone to read something, waiting for lawyers to go back and forth ... it takes a while. You kind of want to say, "Um, excuse, me, sorry to bother you, but can we speed this process along, I've got a car insurance bill due next week". But you can't. But if one of those paychecks come along, you'll be ok. For a good little while. And the door cracks open that much wider.

I guess what I'm saying is that I'm taking a big gamble this semester. I'm only teaching one class at UT. I'm giving up my other classes so I can devote the time to writing and pre-production. There are two projects in the kettle, I'm just waiting, waiting, waiting for one to reach a boiling point. If I have to teach a weekend workshop, by all means, but I don't feel like I can tie myself up too much beyond UT in case one of these gets a major greenlight. So in the mean time. I'll write. And I'll write like mad. And pretend everything's gonna be A-ok.


Anonymous said...

Keep the faith and are awesome!! :)

T Buchanan

ctxphotoman said...

Everything IS gonna be A-ok.