Wednesday, June 18, 2008

American Movie (1999)

When I first watched American Movie in the theater, I remember laughing my butt off. Oh that crazy Mark Borchardt trying to make a movie, pouring his heart and soul into a film that maybe a few people will see, maybe just his family and friends. I loved it. What a crazy, crazy guy.

After watching it again tonight about eight years later, two features films later, several short films later, a stack of feature screenplays later, it's a different story. I felt knots in my stomach and wanted to cry. It's that crazy guy trying to make a movie, pouring his heart and soul into a film that maybe a few people will see, maybe just his family and friends. Shit. And what broke my heart the most was when Chris Smith asked Mark's mom, Do you think he'll ever make a big budget film? And she sat and hesitated and finally said ... No, no I don't.

I love my mom to death and her and my dad have been the biggest supporters of everything I've ever done in my life. But recently she asked me, Have you ever thought about doing something else?

I had big dreams when I first watched American Movie in 2000. I was going to be a movie director. People would give me money to make my second feature film. I'd soon be making studio pictures, it'd be rad. Flashforward eight years ... hey it's that crazy Kat Candler trying to make another movie, pouring her heart and soul into a film that maybe a few people will see, maybe just her family and friends.

I think I'm just having a depressed day. But whatever, it's cool. Tomorrow's a new one.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

um, we don't know each other but i obviously read your blog. i think you are doing fantastic. you are doing what you love and it makes you so happy. you are full of passion for your projects. that automatically makes you a success! you really are an inspiration.

Ben said...

Hi Kat! Number 1: Sorry you are bummed. I feel bad. Number 2: You are awesome. Everyone around you knows it. We probably don't tell you enough. We love being your friend and we will never let you give up. Never. Number 3: Your mom loves you and is so damn proud of you. I've only spoke to her once and you could tell she was proud of you. Number 4: I am proud of you, too. Number 5: Dude, seriously, come tubing on Friday. Megan, PugPuggy, several comedy friends... all floating on tubes down the Comal River with beverages. I owe you a good time since I depressed you.

Kenny in Seattle said...

Hi. Your blog is fantastic. Say hello to Mark from me.

Kat Candler said...

you guys are awesome. but i'm totally fine. i get in a funk here and there as does everybody. but like i said, it's a totally new day and i'm feelin' fine. really good actually.

but thank you for the kind words.

people kick ass.

abc said...

YOu are an artist! Sometimes recognition for the artist doesn't always come at the time the artist needs it. But keep on keeping on, Kat.

amy said...

Trailer for Twilight: http://www.imdb.com/video/trailer/vi2380464409/

:D

Kat Candler said...

Yep. I've watched it over and over and over again. And made everyone else I know watch it! :)