When I first watched American Movie in the theater, I remember laughing my butt off. Oh that crazy Mark Borchardt trying to make a movie, pouring his heart and soul into a film that maybe a few people will see, maybe just his family and friends. I loved it. What a crazy, crazy guy.
After watching it again tonight about eight years later, two features films later, several short films later, a stack of feature screenplays later, it's a different story. I felt knots in my stomach and wanted to cry. It's that crazy guy trying to make a movie, pouring his heart and soul into a film that maybe a few people will see, maybe just his family and friends. Shit. And what broke my heart the most was when Chris Smith asked Mark's mom, Do you think he'll ever make a big budget film? And she sat and hesitated and finally said ... No, no I don't.
I love my mom to death and her and my dad have been the biggest supporters of everything I've ever done in my life. But recently she asked me, Have you ever thought about doing something else?
I had big dreams when I first watched American Movie in 2000. I was going to be a movie director. People would give me money to make my second feature film. I'd soon be making studio pictures, it'd be rad. Flashforward eight years ... hey it's that crazy Kat Candler trying to make another movie, pouring her heart and soul into a film that maybe a few people will see, maybe just her family and friends.
I think I'm just having a depressed day. But whatever, it's cool. Tomorrow's a new one.