Wednesday, February 13, 2008

sewing on my tough exterior

you can only go so long with that tough exterior that you've sewn on. that smile that you try and keep upright. sometimes it just gets frayed at the edges. your skin gets soft like a t-shirt you've worn since high school. or holes grow in the knees. you try and keep it together with safety pins and even tape, but eventually, it just falls apart, stitch by stitch.

my mom tried to teach me to sew as a kid. i made a few simple outfits. nothing fancy. but my edges were always uneven. the patterns didn't match up. sometimes i'd get lazy and use the wrong colored thread. but i paraded my hand made clothes around my elementary school like they were from saks fifth avenue.

some days/weeks you just feel like a complete failure. like everyone can see through your tough exterior and see that quivering little girl who doesn't know what the hell she's doing. that they can see the threads hanging from the hemline or the safety pins holding the pockets in place. i just have to keep reassuring myself that everything's going to be ok. and believing it.

1 comment:

Lorie said...

Good analogy. I'm sorry you're feeling poopy in this post.

You know what it means, though? If you can't keep up the tough exterior, it's time to just go naked!