Thursday, May 31, 2007

future of america

so i started this documentary years and years ago about a group of kids that dropped out of high school. i followed four of them around for a little while. despite them being teenagers and being kind of flaky sometimes, i really enjoyed that experience and those relationships. that was about 5 or 6 years ago. i haven't talked to any of them in about 3 years. but those interviews and their histories have really stuck with me. i still have all the tapes. i have the tape where david finally graduates from high school and his entire family shows up. he's the first in his family. i have the multiple interviews at graveyards, skate parks, long walks, at school, coffeeshops ... the footage isn't great. i don't claim to be a camera or sound person. but their stories are. i think about them a lot. where they are, what they're doing.

i couldn't sleep last night. my mind was racing a mile a minute. so finally i got up, turned on the laptop and started writing. i continued writing early this morning.

i told stacy i have to make something soon or i'm going to crawl into a hole. i'm having panic attacks about it. it's really strange. i've been writing a lot, but that's not everything i need. so yeah. that's it.

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