Sunday, October 01, 2006

Applauding someone I could never be

The hard part is not the publicity or the endless emails or the phone calls to universities, or the fretting about distribution or money. The hard part is after a screening or during a Q&A when someone tells us their story. Inevitably, I cry or am on the edge of tears.

I applaud the individuals who devote their life to awareness and outreach. They are strength like I've never seen. But could I do it? I don't know. Probably not. I know that this film will take us through several more months of intense screenings and Q&As and after that it will taper off and find new direction, and hopefully new hands to carry it the rest of the way. I'll move on to a different story, different characters and a whole new world. This may sound awful, but I'm looking forward to moving on. It's been a rollercoaster of emotion. I'm extremely happy with what we're doing and how it's affecting people. The more I get entrenched in it, the more emotional weight I find myself carrying. It's nice to be a part of something much larger than my little world, but I'm growing anxious to retreat back. I'm just being honest, I guess.

1 comment:

kelly rae said...

dearest kat,
though you are feeling the burden and the weight of anxiety, you are giving a voice to people who have struggled with thier own heartbreaking stories. your film is giving their truth and their stories a set of wings to set thier grief free, or at least give it a voice. and that, my sweet friend, is an amazing thing.