Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Maybe I can't smile today.

I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be. I'm trying though. Really, really hard. I try to extend my gratitude over and over again. I've been utterly blessed with good people, all around me. My family, my colleagues, my friends. I'm grateful beyond belief. I tell the same people thank you a million times. And I mean it, deeply each and every time I say it. I'm completely and utterly indebted.

It's hard making a feature film. It's hard balancing a full time day job, a full time movie, a boyfriend, a cat, my friends, my family. Free time doesn't exist anymore. It hasn't for a long, long time. It's hard balancing everything in my head. I'm not perfect. I don't think of everything at the right moment. Forgive me. There are so many lessons to be learned. And we're learning them. All of us. We're trying to make sense of everything. We're trying to stay true to ourselves, our film, our vision. We're trying to make something that everyone can be proud of. So forgive me, if I slip up from time to time. Forgive me if I can't remember everything. I have a concert going on in my head and it's kind of lost control.

Without Mark, I would lose it completely. He's been my ground. He keeps me sane and upright. Moments like these, I just need him to hug me and tell me things will be ok.

I apologize for my imperfections.

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