Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Somehow destined.

I met Kyle Ellison last night. Savannah's boyfriend. You walk into the room and he immediately will do anything to put you at ease and make you feel completely at home. There's something so kind and generous about him. Both of them. Watching the two of them flitting about the house warmed my heart. They're perfect for each other. At least that's the impression I get.

Kyle's brother, Sims, committed suicide in 1995. Hence, the SIMS Foundation. Kyle proudly showed me several photos of this beautiful, youthful face. Standing in the middle of one of their bedrooms and staring at a mural Kyle painted shortly after Sims' death killed me. It all comes so closer to real. Maybe it gives power and strength to what I'm doing.

Speaking of which, I've been desperately trying to reach my old friend who the film is very, very loosely based on. Unsuccessfully. I wanted a final blessing. I'll keep looking.

My friend Garrett who the character Eric is based on is coming down this summer for a weekend to check out the shoot. I'll probably cry and cry when I see his face. My mom always wanted me to marry him. And at age 15, I did too.

I can't get over how these days are unfolding. How meeting all of these people seems almost destined. There are days when I ask myself what the hell am I doing. Do I really think I can pull this off. Am I completely mad? And then there are moments and days that bring it all home. Of course, I'm mad, but I can't not do it. This film, these actors, this crew, my friends and family, it's for them.

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